1/20-CNN SUFFERS EARLY NEWT-KNOCKOUT. PATIENT RESTING UNCOMFORTABLY!

A hen lays an egg and cackles for forty-four minutes. A sturgeon lays ten thousand eggs and never lets out a peep. To embattled media conservatives like Sara and Barry, Newt Gingrich's annihilation of the elitist and biased media during the debate last night is more than "another day on the campaign trail." It's our personal "Mount Surabachi" and Sara and Barry have invited brother conservative ADRIAN VANCE to plant our flag right on top! A solid hour of unapologetic bragging at the manner in which leftist media hatchet-wielding arrogance was suddenly converted into a smoking crater.